Initial Blues

On my unfinished-mess preparation yet just a couple days of my new chapter, not in the mood to packing, juggling on un-ended work matter, digging more information about School and imaging the possible suffer in run; I am thinking,

“_Was I really deserve this? Was this such a worthy and sensible price comparing in my ‘selfishly’ deal on letting my mother struggle in her upcoming loneliness and juggling work-matter which now in the alarming phase on unexpected market and world event that could be happend anytime

There’s always though in my head that I should do more in this family, taking care, finish un-resolve problem etc. Aware that problem may came in many ways, its just how we handle them.

Time is relative short if we know how to use them properly, thats what bothers me. What if this not the right time? what if something happened in between? But I let it shinking at the moment, for those who seek peacefull should not wory about the future. At least I keep telling my self that.

However, much above it, my mind always rebels too far beyond. I fully conscious that what I’ve done is still nothing, I am far from being skilled, so that I should learn very much from the world for the upcoming and un-ended hard work should be done.

For answering my unforgivable blues, that this came not for a wrong reason for me. There’re always not enough time to be fully ready. The universe might untoldly reaffirm that living a dream always possible, no matter how wild your dreams are. Let me try to do my best.

If above paragraph is confession. The last one will be my ‘prayer’ and what I ask is forgiveness.